Feel with your heart (continued)
by Gwen Truong
Summary: "I can prove my words. Please take my heart out, you will see the truth." How many days had he waited for this moment? How many days had he longed to get back to him, to tell him the truth? But this underground prison was his end point, he was far too tainted for his husband to trust him. (The continuation of "Feel of your heart") Zero x Kaname
1. 17 My love, why have you forsaken me?

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the VK world belong to Matsuri Hino_

_**A/N**__: This is the continuation of "Feel with your heart" and should be read after you have finished 16 chapters of "Feel". It may sound childish, but I write for reviews. The continuous decrease in the amount of views and reviews really upset me. "Feel" is my pride. While I want to complete this story, I don't want to turn it into a failure._

_So the rest of the story will be posted here for you, who have followed and supported it for years. Thank you very much for your patience! I will try my best to improve my update frequency._

_**Warning**__: unpleasant description of non-consensual, bloody sex scenes._

**Chapter 17: My love, my love, why have you forsaken me?**

When the servants came to take him out for the 273th time, a small group of other servants was behind them with cleaning tools and stuff. They entered his room and started changing his bed in silence. He had never heard them speak a word to each other. All were complying with their rigorous discipline, doing exactly what they had been instructed.

Preparation was as usual, however, they put a new robe on him, tying it properly after he finished feeding, and leading him to a swimming pool.

It was a large indoor swimming pool in the Shirabuki palace, starlit sky was immense above the glass ceiling. Some young girls in bikini were swimming leisurely, Sara was sitting on a pool chair with thick cushion, Rima was by her side, peeling an orange.

The servants quietly retreated, leaving Kaname standing right in the place they led him to. There was only splashing noise in the pool. Rima gently offered the first piece of orange to Sara, who took it with a smile.

"Take a seat, Kaname! I want to show you something." Sara said after finishing her orange.

He walked to the pool chair next to hers and sat down. Not knowing why she was giving him some regard instead of forcing him to take whatever she wanted, but he understood any resistance was useless.

Sara clapped her hands once, then held them out with palms upward, all fingers pointing up. It was a gesture to conjure natural forces to influence things. Water in the pool suddenly rose up high then fell down as a fall. In an instant, the swimming girls dropped to the empty bottom, and drowned by the heavy falling water. Their bones were broken, yet they struggled to come to the surface.

Sara chuckled "Sorry, girls!" though her expression didn't look sorry at all. She was actually very proud of this achievement. Everyone knew that Kaname had killed the former Council with a simple hand raise. She and other purebloods could kill them easily too, but not that easily, not that fast. That's why the Kurans were the strongest purebloods. That's why she so much wished to have his powers. After three months, her efforts had finally returned a good result. "You see, I just need some more time to complete the Kuran power."

And it's when he became useless, she wouldn't need to keep him or Yuuki or Zero alive anymore. From his innermost, he was frightened. Zero started sleeping with him at fourteen, when he was fully powerful, and their times throughout the years must be a lot more than 272 times, yet the hunter's strength didn't develop from it considerably, because their strengths weren't compatible, Zero was just an ex-human, who wasn't steadied by his master's blood. Maintaining his sanity and getting him stronger than a level D were all Kaname could do. The hunter had been through a lot of trainings, beside Bloody Rose, he also learned to use other weapons to become powerful and attain his current position.

Sara was different, she was a pureblood, their strengths completely matched.

"I would prefer continuing our method and finishing it as soon as possible. But the situation has been changed." She took another orange piece from Rima. "Ouri and Shoto have formed an alliance by their children's marriage. Everyone is looking at your empty chair. They want to replace you."

Kaname hadn't paid attention to political issues for a long time. After killing the former Council and taking the ruling position to sign their peace treaty, he almost didn't say a word to whatever matters in their societies. Since the erroneous adultery which ruined his marriage, the only thing in his mind was how to stabilize Zero, everything else was handled by Takuma. He didn't make any other contribution, yet his presence alone was enough to maintain peace. Zero could have published his Last Will to become the temporary vampire leader, then took advantage of the interim to reinforce his own position, but it would mean an announcement of the pureblood's demise. With deep understanding of his husband, Kaname knew Zero would never do it, because he didn't only want to protect him, but also wanted to protect, not take away, what belonged to him.

"Have they challenged Zero to a fight?" If Sara wanted to let him know what was going on out there, he couldn't wait to ask about his husband. Purebloods settled their ranks by fights. To overthrow him, they must defeat the person who was protecting his chair. Kaname got a chill thinking the reason Zero hadn't come yet was because he had to take up challenge after challenge from those greedy purebloods. Some time ago, Sara said he was shot by an anti-vampire gun…

"I'm sure they're planning to, but your hunter is very cunning. He quenched their enthusiasm by showing off his extraordinary blood. Powerful as a pureblood, and non-fatal to hunter weapons. It will postpone their actions for a while." Sara smirked "But it isn't the best idea. If I were him, I wouldn't warn at all. I would accept one of the challenges."

She raised a hand to reject the next piece from Rima, and waved to a young, petite girl, who immediately ran to her, and crawled on her chair, obediently bent down to kiss on the place between her legs. The bathrobe was parted, revealing a big bump under her underwear. The girl took her member out, starting to stimulate it with her warm, moist tongue.

"I would kill that silly opponent and stamp out their cravings once and for all." Sara groaned as her member was engulfed passionately to the base. Her fingers pulled the girl's blond hair with pleasure. She glanced at Rima, who was sulkily holding the piece of orange which she refused, and chuckled "Don't you think I'm an extremist while your hunter is moderate? After he took fifty living hearts for you, I won't say he is. He is the type who will kill as many as necessary."

She pulled Rima closer for a fervent kiss while shoving in and out the other girl's mouth.

Kaname felt a pain overwhelming his being. It shouldn't be now, when the feeding had provided some blood to revive his healing system. Syndrome of the intoxication had been repressed, he had walked here by himself. Yet the excruciating pain was violently taking over him. He was too selfish, he had only thought about his own agony, he had only been waiting for Zero to come to his rescue, not thinking that his husband could be in danger out there. His husband was being the target of many forces, all for him, for trying to save his life.

He had suspected Rima's words because it didn't seem right that Zero wanted him to continue sleeping with Sara and transfer the poison to her. And Sara suspected why his husband didn't choose a more direct way to thwart the others' ambitions. She didn't say it straight, but it wasn't hard to reckon...

Zero had to take this way because he was incapable to win…

"Sara-san, I want you inside me." Rima whispered sweetly.

"Good, ride me!"

The other girl understandingly left them, Rima undressed her clothes, and walked around the chair, skilfully showing her beautiful curves before straddling her lover.

Sara fondled her breast, while she was sitting down her erection.

Moans lustfully slipped through Rima's parted lips. Other girls also started kissing each other. Moans louder and louder.

Rima tried her best to make her lover feel good, but after a while, she couldn't linger longer, her climax came as a storm, she fell onto the pureblood's chest, breathing in short pants.

"You're very bad, you wanted to make me come." Sara coaxed "Stand up! I need to finish it before his looks shrink me."

Rima threw an angry look at Kaname, then reluctantly left her lover's chair. Sara's erection was wrapped in a thick coat of milky, watery fluid which gained giggles from other girls.

"It is how love making should be. What between us, Kaname, even after a thousand times, can never give me any pleasure." Sara still sat on her chair, openly displaying her member. "I even feel unfair for them, but what must be done must be done. We're getting married."

Her sentence delivered a shocking silence among them. Rima knitted her fingers together, trying to cover her despair. Unlike them, Sara had told her earlier, and it urged her to use the poison taken from Asa.

"What are you saying?" Kaname murmured. It seemed they had strictly respected their agreement. She kept Yuuki and her baby safe, he let her withdraw his power through sex. She didn't asked more, and he quietly waited for Zero.

Yet the situation was changed. If she didn't act now, things could have already been settled before her power consumption completed.

"We are getting married." Sara wasn't surprised at his reaction, though she wouldn't have suggested it if he had a chance to refuse. "And you are transferring your position to your new husband. In return, I will maintain the peace treaty with your ex-husband."

It was the shortest and legitimate way to become the vampire leader. If they didn't get married, the situation would turn complicated when Zero failed to seal Kaname's missing, and other forces openly expressed their interest in the position. She didn't know exactly what happened to Zero, but it looked like he hadn't completed his pureblood power yet. She also needed Kaname for at least six more months to finish her consumption and to show up with in public. Even after that, she had another plan for him, and getting married to him made it easier to achieve her ultimate goal.

"If you turn my proposal down, I can provoke other purebloods to eliminate him before we enter the fight for your position. They don't know, but I know he will be more powerful in the near future. If you want me to leave a threat alive, it should give me some benefits from it, shouldn't it?" Sara wasn't hurried to start their session as said, thoughts of the future seemed to be getting her more excited, her member got harder when she spoke to him.

"I will never divorce Zero." Kaname uttered. He didn't hear whatever reasons Sara was trying to influence him. Being married to Zero was the most meaningful value in his whole life. He had tried to maintain their marriage through many happenings, even when his husband deserted him for years, or said it out straightforwardly that he wanted a divorce. His name, his life, his body could be ruined, yet he wished to remain married to him. It was the only thing which he begged Zero to allow him to be selfish. The other day, the ring had been taken back, the greeting doves had stolen the diamond. What left was the platinum stud with his husband's name on his tongue.

"Even if it will kill your hunter?" Sara slowly walked to his chair. "Open your legs!" Her eyes were derisive. Normally, he was tied to the bed, widened up. But now, she didn't use any physical constraint to fix him, both his arms and legs were free, he could try resisting her. Although it wouldn't lead to a different result, at least he could make it to the end that each and every time they had sex, he was forced against his will to betray Zero. "I've ordered to clean up and refurnish your room to match your new position. Your new clothes will be ready soon. Your new servants will come to receive your commands. In return, I expect a change in your attitude and your behavior. As my wife, you will follow my direction, you will support my goals, you will agree with my opinions, and you will spread your legs when I want to do you."

He stared at her in daze, solely because of her biting question before all those lengthy sentences about his behavior. Contempt was filled in her beautiful eyes, yet combined a shade of directness. A part of him had wondered if it was merely her wicked trap to make him give in this arranged marriage, so that she would take over his position and crush his husband's spirit up. But he didn't intend to find something against her words in her eyes. With expertise, she could hide them perfectly. She could manipulate Rima with a false story to dishearten him. She could make up false news to convince him that Zero was in trouble. For Yuuki and her baby's safety or for his own survival, he would have no choice, but follow her arrangement.

However, there was one evidence that brought him to the decision. His being poisoned and Sara not knowing about it were the truth. The syndrome had disappeared, but he still felt it faintly in each of his breaths, each of his movements. If she drank his blood and had sex with him, it would certainly pass on. Everything else could be true or false. It didn't matter how Rima had obtained it. If Sara wasn't poisoned now, she would soon overpower Zero. He wouldn't let her have a chance to endanger him.

"Will Rima agree to let you marry me?" He glanced at the young girl. That year she went against her family to betray him. He knew her feeling for Sara was strong. Instead of taking her back and punishing her, he let her follow her heart. Nevertheless, she decided to use him to kill Sara after hearing about their marriage. It could be a fleeting moment of jealousy, she could regret and confess it to her, yet he couldn't let her destroy his chance.

"She will." Sara sniggered "To be my lover, she understands how to please me."

Rima's face was distorted in distress. Her heart felt guilty from harming the person she loved. She didn't want to see her lover's failure, but it was more painful to see her betrayal. In one moment, she thought about stopping Sara from taking Kaname, but the moment hearing those egotistical words, she turned away to hide the tears, and hastily ran out. If continued living, Sara would never belong to her alone. She also wanted to be egotistical once.

"Conversely, your hunter won't keep calm." Sara didn't care much about her little lover's reaction. She lowered to guide her own hardness, which coated in the previous session's fluid, to the pureblood's loosened entrance. "You will support me to bring him down."

"If you hurt my husband or his baby, I will end it immediately." His words couldn't be considered a threat, in such a situation, it was more like a surrender. It meant he wasn't going to protest what she was doing. His voice was desperate, and his effort to make it sound firm only revealed that he was already at the dead end.

Sara didn't want to look at his abused hole. Being used to living in the lap of luxury, and enjoying the most elegant pieces, seeing some unpleasant view was a brutal suffering. Her erection thrust into his marrow in one go. Something hot and dank immediately stuck around her flesh. He already started bleeding. She angrily moved in and out as if wiping the blood off her body, though it just resulted in tearing his wound off and urging more blood leaking out his hole.

He squeezed his eyes in anguish. A hand was still limply holding a leg up. As letting Aido destroy his sexual part, he didn't imagine it would one day give him a kind of torture which was worse than death. Not meaning it would be better if the unhealed wound was on another part of his body, not meaning he could take her ravishment easier if his sexual part wasn't injured. It was a miracle that his sanity remained. He kept reminding himself that it wasn't time to give up, because his death would devastate Zero and jeopardize Yuuki's and her baby's lives. He must go through this dark episode, he must see his beloved get out of it safely. From the innermost, he only thought about meeting Zero again, and seeing him sound and safe, he didn't think how their lives would continue from there. After all those damages, he couldn't be sure about a chance of recovery, or how to deal with the emotional and mental issues. If Zero could hold him in his loving embrace, if he could wipe off his husband's tears, if he could hear him calling his name, it would be enough. Probably his consciousness would be frozen in that moment, probably he would vanish within his immense love.

"Although you are my wife, you're not allowed to step in my chamber. I don't want your filthy body to taint my restful place." Sara whispered mockingly. Her fingers gripped his neck tightly, nails impaled in his flesh. His skin around her nails got reddened. He choked from suffocation, only made her increase the pressure as if wanting to break him. Blood soaked her nails, dripping down her long fingers. She straightened her back, thrusting in more intensely, while instinctively avoided the contact between her lower belly and his limp manhood. She had figured out this part was unresponsive, and it got her feel more disgusting. Impotency was a nightmare to any men. She loathed men who yearned to be penetrated by other men, and no words could describe her abhorrence against his act of destroying his own sexuality.

"You think you can be a girl? No erection and your hole is getting so wet. But you're only a broken thing, too broken to be repaired."

ZxK

One month later...

Zero quiveringly shut his eyes close, in darkness struggling with their old memories. His beloved pureblood in that year vulnerably leaned on him, tightening his arms around his waist as if worrying he was going to push him away. Tears was hot, tears soaked his collar, tears blurred his beautiful face.

He had requested Kaname to tell him each and every detail of his past, tell him each of those councilors' names, who had deceitfully tainted his body. Kaname trembled with fear, thinking he was ending their relationship, yet obediently complied with his demand. His mumble was hardly audible, mixing into broken sobs.

Zero couldn't hold him back, because both his arms were contained in the pureblood's passionate embrace. He let him hold him in silence. If holding him secured his emotions, he would let him hold as much as he wanted. Being loved was a great honor. In that moment, he learned that he had become the only person who could defeat this powerful pureblood thoroughly, because he had become his life meaning.

Thankfully, Kaname had stood up from a sorrowful past to fall for him. It wasn't curiosity. It wasn't to dig in his old wounds. Zero wanted to listen to his pain to fill in his void, to heal his agony, to compensate for what he had endured. All sweet words had been told, he gently rest his head on the soft, silky hair. _"Bite me, let my blood tell you how I'm feeling."_

No contempt. No rejection. In his blood, it was purely immense love.

"_Please keep me yours. I want to be yours as long as I live."_

Didn't it mean forever? Zero was amazed with the pureblood's intense feeling. Ironically, when realized his time was running out, he crushed their love in fear of ruining his beloved's life, yet he never resolutely filed for a divorce or moved out of their once sweet home. Somewhere in his mind affectionately holding those impassioned words, he couldn't forsake him, just as he couldn't take back the ardent love he had given to him.

"It can't be true." Aido uttered.

Five of them were sitting around the sofa in their large living room. An invitation card placed on the table, heedlessly on a slant with its edge.

Shirabuki & Kuran wedding.

What a stupid joke! The others might be uncertain about the accuracy of such news, but five of them couldn't tolerate this vulgarity. Sara must have used some shady trick to kidnap Kaname, and now she was openly admitting it, not meaning she could convince him into marriage. Even if everything could change in this world, the pureblood's love would never change. They had witnessed how far he was willing to do for Zero, it's impossible that he forsook him to fall for his abductor.

"I have just checked with the Council. Kaname completed the divorce with you last month and asked them to keep it secret. He also got a new marriage license with Sara. He is her legitimate wife now." Takuma murmured "He is the leader, his requests don't need to go through me for approval."

"It is wrong. Kaname won't leave Zero." Shiki couldn't arrange his reasons in order to support his statement. But who would need them, all of them were shocked seeing this wedding invitation, and none could believe it.

"You should summon the Council, Ichijou!" Kain folded his arms "Ask them about his condition when they saw him and how it was done."

Takuma gazed at his husband, a smile weakly ghosted on his lips. "I've been waiting, but you still don't ask me, Zero. Do you really think I betrayed you? Do you really think I did it?"

Zero slowly opened his eyes. While the others didn't comprehend what the noble was referring to, he understood it was about the blood tablets. Last month Cross told him that his tablets contained a light concentration of anti-vampire poison. He immediately changed to another supply but didn't confront Takuma with it. This month felt like a lifetime. When re-opening his eyes, he realized that he had lost everything. He lost Kaname when he was seeking for him, he lost their marriage when he was trying his best to amend it. Haha, such a stupid joke! He carefully thought about the years they had been through together. Yes, he deserved to be brushed off as dirtiest dust, he deserved to be dumped to the lowest level of hell for his sin, but Kaname would miss him...

"_Can_'_t. I only love you."_

The pureblood had tenderly told him those sweet words after giving all he had for him. As they got back to each other, Zero learned that he was the only and best thing Kaname wanted, not to worry it was good or bad, fair or unfair. Then what type of charm could Sara possibly use to allure him? It could only be no more than her crude lie.

"I didn't think it when my tablets were exchanged or when they were reverted to ordinary after chairman Cross delivered a general warning about the quality of some blood tablets. I chose to believe it was an act of your subordinate." Zero said "But how can you explain your unawareness of this wedding?"

Takuma hid a bitter smile. His secret agents were placed everywhere, and reported to him each and every detail of those big names' moves. The abduction could be a confidential plan at first, but there was no excuses for his ignorance after Kaname had stayed in Sara's residence four months. The Council might not report to him on the pureblood's requests for divorce and new marriage, but his agents beside them should. So did the agents beside the nobles who were preparing their wedding. Indeed, he got the news from Asa four months ago, and was well-aware that Kaname was waiting. But how could he tell Zero that his beloved pureblood was being abused sexually and bringing him back would be the end of their family?

It's a common knowledge that the Shirabukis only had one person in each generation. They didn't get married. They had countless lovers, but they would conceive their only child on their own. All members of the Shirabukis were half male half female with an ability of self-fertilization as the result of their ancestor consuming their ancestress' flesh and blood. However, the society had too easily accepted Sara, who was totally different than her ancestors. While the previous generations tended to male-looking and strictly wanted people to treat them as real men, Sara created an impression of a dominant lesbian. She required to be addressed as a woman, though she would prefer a suit to a dress.

At age of fifteen, she ordered Takuma's grandma, who was an excellent pharmacist, to make up a medicine which turned her body shape and voice entirely feminine while maintained her sexual masculinity. Pureblood body naturally rejected harmful elements and had a tendency to return to original state, that's why they didn't age or infected by any illness, unless getting injured by anti-vampire weapons. It took Takuma's grandma a long time to prepare the medicine which could be absorbed into Sara's system, brought out its effect for a short while before being eliminated. Sara had to take it regularly to conserve the result. It wouldn't hurt her, but for those non-pureblooded persons who had sex with her, a small amount would be transmitted to them. There was no clear, immediate damage, however, it would reduce their longevity.

The pharmacist had shared this secret with her grandson before she passed away, to remind him of not letting his offspring get involved in this pureblood. It stayed silent with Takuma for years, he didn't tell anyone, especially Kaname, because his grandma had worked for another pureblood. As soon as hearing Kaname fell into Sara's hands, he automatically remembered his grandma's words and concluded that the pureblood shouldn't come back. It was heartless, however, he wasn't sure what Sara might have told him. In addition, Zero would catch the poison from Kaname while his body was weakened in trying to cure him, then all of them would be infected. This issue would burst into a serious, undecided dispute in their family, and to prevent it, Takuma took the initiation to order his pharmacists to concoct another poison for killing Sara with Kaname acting as intermediary.

"I can't explain it." Takuma looked straight at his husband. "Just as I can't be the person who tells you that Kaname appeared at the Council, powerfully and gracefully as usual, to announce he decided to forsake you. He said he doesn't want to be the first, he wants to be the only. Five years was more than enough, he wants to start anew with someone else." Lie was convincing when there was a part of truth. The pureblood actually looked very thin and exhausted, proving he hadn't spent the past four months in peace, yet he did say those words as explanation of his decision.

"He was forced." Shiki quickly defended his cousin right after Takuma finished.

On the contrary, Aido and Kain said nothing. Wasn't it too obvious why Kaname had to say it? What they couldn't understand was why Takuma believed it and trying to convince Zero of such nonsense, plus, why Zero hadn't told them about the blood tablet thing. So many problems occurred, they thought they were going through them together, since when had they started falling apart?

"What else?" The hunter didn't show any expression, either suspecting it or not, to what Takuma said. "What else do you still hide from me?"

His soft, yet lacking in rage voice made the noble feel like he was being interrogated. Out of words he could expect Zero to say, he didn't think the hunter could still be calm enough to ask for more. "What else do you want to hear?" Would he want him to admit that he had changed his blood tablets because he needed his hunter mixed blood to make the killing poison? Would he want him to admit he had never really wanted them to reconcile to each other because he would lose the important position in his heart which he had tried so hard to achieve? Jealousy was too hideous, but he wasn't Kaname, he hadn't committed any sin to feel ashamed with, he hadn't gotten into the hunter's embrace after some broken things in the past either. He had purely been virgin when he met him. "You're not only my husband, you are my life. But you live for another person, just as my life lives for you."

"I promised Kaname I would come to rescue him as soon as I knew where he was."

It's true. The one who should feel ashamed was Zero, who had formed this plural marriage and brought misery over their lives. He had tried to spend good time with them, tried to treat them kindly, tried to take care of them, and avoided thinking how the rest were doing when he was with one. It's ridiculous. He couldn't pamper one and leave the rest alone, then said he was trying to treat all of them well. Without memories, he had called it a depraved lifestyle and seriously despised himself. However, when his memories returned, he again thought it would possibly work out. The dark side of strong will was ambitions. He had always known it was unfair, yet he wanted to keep them all.

Nevertheless, the moment he heard about Kaname, all those issues fell behind his mind. Many years before they had discussed about the important persons in their societies. Deeply in love and trusted each other, they had shared their full knowledge on characters, opinions and goals of the influential vampires and hunters. Zero knew Sara was blood-thirsty and sadistic because of her special feature of being half male half female. The Shirabukis was second strongest after the Kurans, who had been harboring a desire to replace them for age. Sara must have used a lot of wicked, filthy torture to force Kaname into this marriage in order to take his position. With her character, those would be involved in sex.

The hunter's heart smashed up just by thinking about it. His incompetence had tormented his beloved four months. But not another second. Normal transportation wasn't fast enough for his anxiety. His body separated into black bats flying up in a hurry.

ZxK

"Kaname, our wedding invitations have been sent out. Your hunter also received one, and he is coming to destroy it. Do you feel excited?" Sara focused her sharp hearing on the serenity of her secluded residence. Things seemed quiet, though she sensed that a tempest was turning up. "What should we do to stop him now?"

Kaname was standing behind her, decently in a white dress shirt and a pair of black pants. Shining locks of dark brown hair falling on beautiful face, glamour glinted in deep, claret eyes under the crescent moons of long, similar-colored lashes. He wasn't in his best appeal, but it's already too much to handle for those who looked at him. Even the characterless, emotionless servants who had long sold their souls to the Shirabukis, and as their master's order had cruelly abused him, felt embarrassed for taking part in ruining such a beauty. Just a remembrance that they used to grab him tightly or have his body closely to theirs made their hearts beat harder and some private part uncontrollably feel uneasy. However, such beauty didn't seem to get Sara's compassion. She was attracted to the youth, frivolity and naivety of teenagers, which were exactly what Kaname had lost before reaching his teenage time. In her eyes, she had never taken him as a target of pleasure, but a rival in hierarchy and in their natural allure.

Since last month, their times reduced to twice a day. He was fed after each time, the period between sessions became opportunities to recover his health and hide his poisoning perfectly. He was also provided light food and free to walk around under the supervision of two servants. All were prepared for his appearance in the needed events of her plan, which worked out pretty well. The Council suspected some hidden reason behind his decisions, but none of them imagined a possibility of his becoming her detainee.

Sara didn't really wait for an answer. Of course Kaname would never be willing to support her. Nonetheless, what he wanted didn't matter, because he had to follow what she wanted. "He has your heart, and I have consumed your power for four months. I want to know who is stronger between us." Zero was an ex-human while she was a pureblood. Their different backgrounds led to different abilities in absorbing pureblood strength. Plus, he had been restless recently, and she had been staying peacefully at home. "We will arrange it as the time we went to the Council together."

Waves of angst surged up within him as remembering how he had desperately struggled to protest her arrangement, he even thought about losing his promise. To make sure he wouldn't do anything out of her control, she dripped her blood on the bars of Yuuki's cage, setting up a remote control so that she could activate its self-destruction from afar. Yuuki wailed over fear of being squeezed to death as Kaname got devastated by fear of hurting his beloved. Any type of agony in this world, either physical or mental, would be acceptable if it's for Zero, if it was what Zero wanted him to go through. However, he couldn't stand seeing him in pain. His heart ached at the thought of his husband's reaction upon hearing his criticism and their marriage had been annihilated. If it came to this point, he would rather kill himself. Ironically, he still followed Sara's arrangement at the end, yet ironically, Zero was still coming for him, and he was going to hurt him more.

"If I can defeat him, you don't need to do anything at all. But if I'm failing…" Sara slid a sword into his left hand. "You will stab him with it. Either dead or alive and damaged, I want his condition to be worse than mine when the fight ends."

_-to be continued-_

_Posted on 24 February 2014_


	2. 18 He stopped loving me today

_A/N:__ Thank you for sending me your support and encouragement! I'm overjoyed with your reviews, however, I also got reviews/pm's saying that this story has too much angst while is lack of comfort. It made me think a lot about it. If it's the problem, then it's a serious problem, because obviously I didn't plan any comfort in the coming chapters, and angst is increasing again! I wondered if I should lessen the intensity of angst, make things easier for the characters, or maybe put some flashback of ZK's happy moments._

_Please let me know what you think._

**Chapter 18: He stopped loving me today**

A dense flock of belligerent bats hovered over the antique tiled roof of the Shirabukis residence. Sometimes they gathered into a huge carpet which completely shaded the bright moonlight and wrapped the entire palace in terrifying darkness. Sometimes they stretched out as a ferocious dragon floating haughtily in search for their hidden target. Purebloods didn't mix up together in bat form, despite that they were moving to the same direction. One flying flock was one individual, and its density depended on how powerful the pureblood was.

People had once seen those mighty bats flying over the world, hunting for blood. Their re-appearance seemed to be more imposing, though most of the Shirabuki residents didn't understand why they chose to attack their place.

Patent, thriving pureblood scent drew the bats strongly to the east side, where was illuminated in a warm light. It could be a well-prepared trap, however, they were in Sara's land, they had to go to where she arranged for them to meet her.

Bats turned around in circles checking for her proper location. Circles moved faster and faster, forming a strong wind to blow off a mass of tiles.

Bright light spilt over.

Sara looked up with a composed smile.

Zero manifested in front of her.

No trap. She was waiting for this fight to test her reinforced power.

He didn't waste any further minute. His Bloody Rose fired its first shot.

She ducked, and riposted with a slash of her long sword.

Bladed weapon fought against ranged one. Most of hunters exploited guns' ability of decimating the enemies from a distance to make up for their slower physical speed, while vampires preferred blades, because all of them were more or less allergic to propellant. However, cold weapons didn't give them a disadvantage as their speed and endurance were much higher that made it easy for them to get close to their enemies and pull away within an instant.

Zero didn't continue attacking Sara by bullets. To powerful enemies, he utilized the secret weapon inside Bloody Rose, its thorny poisoned vines.

Her sword drew many cuts over his body.

Their arms and wrists were tied by different parts of rose vines. Pointed thorns pierced in their flesh.

A pillar collapsed as she tried to blow him up.

Vines angrily squeezed around her body.

They pushed each other with their full strength.

Both fell down.

Severed parts of vines dropped on broken floor.

"Stop!"

Zero instinctively turned to the soft voice which he had been longing for. It was like a miracle that assuaged all his nerves. His beloved pureblood was only a few steps far, beautiful face shaded by sincerest worries. He wobbly stood up, wiping off the blood dripping on his face, hopefully Kaname could see his happy smile. Rose thorns made some light cuts on his cheek, other thorns stuck in his arm.

Zero reached out, quiveringly called his beloved's name "Kaname!"

A tip of a sharp hunter sword suddenly jabbed through his chest and pulled out in seconds. So smooth and quick that he wasn't aware it was real until fierce pain exploded in his open wound.

Another blow assailed him from behind, he fell flat on his face.

Instinct told him to glare at Sara, gathering remaining strength to retaliate her attack.

But her situation was even worse. Blood was leaking out from her lips, she lied very still on her back.

If continued, both of them would die.

He struggled to sit up, slowly turned to his beloved, who was still holding the hunter sword with his blood dribbling along its blade. "Let's go home, Kaname!"

Those simple words were full of an infinite, unconditional love which one could ever wish for, as if Zero didn't mind at all the fact that Sara had sexually abused him hundreds times, as if he had already forgotten who had given him a severe injury just a minute before. The pureblood shamefully evaded his husband's affectionate eyes, hand helplessly tightened the sword handle.

"_You have come for me, Zero! I finally could wait for you."_

"Don't make a fool of yourself." Sara managed to get up, yet her weakness once again knocked her off. "He's tied with me. He isn't leaving."

"Don't worry about her. She can't do anything now." The hunter's arm once again stretched out for his beloved. He couldn't do anything either, he would also die if not having his bleeding injuries treated fast. Yet he must stay strong for Kaname. Although the pureblood looked much better, Zero was afraid he was more broken inside. "Take my hand!" Firm and gentle voice, he knew the pureblood would never reject him, he knew they would walk out of this place together. Even if he was dying, he couldn't die here and now. Not yet. Bring Kaname back, bring Kaname home safely, each of his cells was screaming to keep his agonizing mind awake.

Eternity seemed to have just passed over. Blood-stained, cold hand remained empty. Zero choked in pain, worriedly stuttered to his beloved "I know you love me. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Let's go home. We will heal each other's wounds."

It could be a good opportunity to kill Sara now. He could have asked Kaname to end the Shirabuki's head by the hunter sword which he had just used to stab him, yet he was letting that opportunity go. His beloved looked quite bewildered, even his reassurance of not blaming him for anything didn't make him feel any better. It was difficult for both of them to see each other again, probably four months in outrageous hardship had eroded the pureblood's faith, probably his incapability had disappointed him, and just like a little bird which had been detained in a cage for too long, he didn't know how to fly up to the free sky when the chance came.

"Please look at me, and give me your hand." _If you don't want to hold my hand, let me hold yours. _Zero felt his body wasn't able to resist exhaustion much longer, struggling to keep his arm up for Kaname was getting harder and harder. His eyes were pleading, but it didn't seem to lessen the pureblood's reluctance. He had never seen such expression of puzzlement and uncertainty on his beloved's face before. Kaname in his memories was very gentle and sensitive, just his single frown was enough to break his heart, and his little concern would melt him completely, because he loved him, so much that it was unfair.

_Why do you neglect me now? Do you not love me anymore?_

"The Kuran heart is awful. You have to help me, Kaname!" Sara mumbled. There were many nobles outside, who were her lovers and bodyguards. However, none of them was going to defend her, not only because they had no chance to win, but it was natural law that nobles would lose their will to fight against purebloods when they encountered them face to face. In her and Zero's current situation, the winner would be the one who had Kaname's support.

With Sara's request, the pureblood made up his mind at lengths. Her blast had pushed Zero out a bit further. He resolutely stepped toward him. The hunter didn't sense any danger coming, his look encouraged, his hand held up higher until the sword was raised for the second time.

"Noooo, Kaname!"

Turmoil rushed in with the appearance of the four nobles. They couldn't believe in their own eyes when the first scene they saw as soon as entering the destroyed lounge was the pureblood attempting to kill their husband. His slash halted abruptly, created a new small cut on the hunter's shirt, skin was torn, blood leaked out under the sharp tip.

They ran to pull Zero away. Aido instinctively bent down to check his wounds. Takuma and Kain glared at Sara, judging her situation.

Kaname quickly retreated to her side.

Nobles couldn't fight against purebloods, but those nobles were descended from stronger lines, and had indirectly consumed a lot of pure blood. They could gather their will to break the rule partially and temporarily. An evidence was they used to team up to keep Shizuka at bay. If all of them attacked Sara now, out of worries for their husband, each of their blows wasn't fatal, but all at once would possibly take her life.

She discreetly glanced at Kaname. Despite of his indifference and his cold-hearted action, he was deadly worried for his husband's injuries.

"_If I'm failing, you will stab him with it. Either dead or alive and damaged, I want his condition to be worse than mine when the fight ends."_

Had she not activated the blood-charmed cage which was constraining Yuuki inside, he wouldn't have interrupted her combat with Zero. Although both of them were injured, the hunter would win, severely injured and won in the end. She knew it, he also knew it. That's why she had to play the trump card to convert their situation. His interference obviously saved her and worsened the hunter's condition. It looked like she was getting out safe, but the four nobles showed up all of a sudden, once again put her back to danger.

"Your temper is worse than I thought, Zero-san! I supposed we would have a big quarrel. It turned out you'd rather sort it out by force." Sara tried to make her voice even "Why don't you calm down a little bit to listen to Kaname? Ask him if he wants to go back with you."

All eyes laid on the pureblood, waiting for an explanation of his strange attitude. His look was incomprehensible, hiding storms of agonies which were devastating his heart. He couldn't tell his family the real reason, he couldn't tell his husband how he was truly feeling. Now he understood the pain which Zero had endured in the last five years, the pain of denying love and being cruel to the one he loved. Why did they think it was better for their loved one? Why was there a situation that hurting their lover and shattering their heart was better than letting them know the truth? Zero had hurt his feeling badly because he wanted him to find someone else who could give him an eternity of happiness. And now he was breaking his husband's heart into pieces, because…

"Leave, Zero, before I attack you again!" Kaname loathed himself for his own words. On one hand, he hoped the hunter would leave before Sara forced him to damage him more than what he had already done. On the other hand, he didn't want the hunter to disappear from his sight again.

_Zero_

_Please don't mind my words_

_Please don't hate me for hurting you_

_Please don't leave me here too longer_

_Next time you return, the poison will have weakened her, you will easily win_

_Zero… please bring me back..._

The hunter was speechless, he still hadn't figured out what Kaname was going to do if his other wives didn't interrupt them in time. In the instant that sword aimed at him, he thought the world had stopped rotating. So it was that kind of pain, when the person you loved at most intended to kill you with his own hands, just as the time he pointed Bloody Rose at Kaname. The act being completed or not, his being dead or not didn't matter, because that act itself had already killed his soul. He gazed at the pureblood in despair. Opacity and reality seemed to have mingled with each other.

He loved him

He loved him since the first time he felt missing someone.

He loved him since the first time he had stayed up overnight because someone by his side could only sleep at dawn at soonest.

He loved him since he started comprehending what love was.

He loved him... more than anything else in this world.

As pain finally turned unfeeling, his love memories drifted him from excruciating reality to murkiness.

"Kaname, please return to us!" Shiki pleaded.

On the contrary, Takuma didn't want to waste more time in the enemy's residence. "Let's go! We need to treat the injuries immediately." He grabbed one of the hunter's arms around his shoulder and stood up.

Kain took the other. They carefully made it gentle so that Zero wouldn't be startled in his swoon.

Nobody stopped them. Sara was actually relieved that they were leaving. As long as she was alive, there would be another chance. Some of her ribs had been broken, her healing power wasn't working properly. When they fell down, she was weaker, but in the very end, Zero was worse as her plan. She needed Kaname right now, she needed to drain his blood and his energy to recover her strength.

In no time her bodyguards and servants rushed in to take care of her. They put her on a stretcher and hastily carried her to the feeding room, where was arranged for the sexual sessions with Kaname.

"Prepare him." She stuttered. Even in such a hurry, she still wanted him to be cleaned up appropriately.

Kaname turned around to stare at the empty entrance when being escorted to the cleaning room for that humiliating process. The sword had dropped on the floor, yet his palm remained the burning sensation of anti-vampire substance, the burning sensation of his unforgivable act. When he thrust the sword into his husband the first time, Zero was actually expecting to receive his hand and not at all in the slightest guard. Indeed, he had never defended himself in front of him. The second time Kaname raised his sword, as sharp as he was, Zero must realize it might be another stabbing, all experience of a seasoned warrior should urge him to shield his weak points as fast as possible, yet he remained unguarded, persistently keeping his hand up readily for him to take. He did not learn the lesson, he did not believe Kaname would really kill him.

"_I will love you forever. Wherever I am, wherever you go, you're holding my love with you."_

Lying on the special-designed bed and resting his ankles on the separated brackets, Kaname closed his eyes, braving himself for the routine. They were cleansing him, but the cleansing itself actually tainted him deeper. There was no part of his that could be considered private or personal, many had touched him, many had checked and put things inside him. There were people whose faces he still remembered, and people whose faces he had never seen. He wasn't Kaname Kuran since losing his almighty strength and becoming a puppet in the other's hands. He wasn't Kaname Kuran since betraying his husband's trust to join hands with his enemy to beat him. When he felt weak, the presence of that poison in his system became clear. Sara couldn't sense it yet, because she wasn't weakened enough. However, she wasn't the only crafty one in this scheme. He had seen Takuma's elusive eyes when he looked at him. Aido, Kain and Shiki were angry at his attitude, but in the said noble's expression, there was a hidden delight.

Their husband's injury looked bad, however, it wasn't a grave one that would threaten his life. Sara had forced Kaname to injure him, but didn't hope he would really kill him. And in the eyes of the others on scene, his stabbing was more like a breakup statement. Once he wounded Zero to protect someone else, it clearly stated that he wasn't coming back. While the other nobles were disappointed and angry, Takuma couldn't help feeling contented, but cleverly exasperated his worry to cover his satisfaction. He had hastily run after Zero to the Shirabuki's residence, and hastily took him back before Kaname got a chance to imply the poison. In fact, as soon as receiving it from Rima last month, the pureblood had suspected it to be a move behind his husband's back.

Because he trusted that Zero would never sacrifice him.

They had been separated for four months, yet he could always feel his love around him, comforting him, encouraging him to keep going on.

The best evidence of Zero's intense love was the platinum stud on his tongue. Even when he was in the worst condition, it didn't hurt...

"_On my strength it will rely_

_With my feelings it will comply_

_If I love you_

_It will cause no harm_

_As long as I live_

_It will stay calm."_

proving his husband's love for him had never been wavered. Since Zero inserted the stud with his name in his tongue seven years ago, he had formed a habit of moving it lightly or pressing it up the hard palate to feel the pierced platinum bead, many times he just did it unconsciously, and when its familiar sensation registered him that it was still in place, solace gradually eased his soul.

What he had left for Zero was his own heart. Even though it had been turned into medicine and no longer carried traces of his passionate feelings, the remedy wouldn't have worked out if he hadn't loved him. Their true love for each other, which could be comprehended without any evidence, had been thoroughly proved through the course of life. Since their relationship founded, he had always submitted to him, followed his decisions, accepted whatever he wanted him to, because he loved him too much, and wanted to indulge him in his boundless love, to make up for what the hunter had generously given up to get married to him. Just this time, he turned him down, but deep inside, without an explanation, he hoped Zero would be sympathy for his unjustified act.

Would a woman sacrifice the love of her life to protect her baby, the result of her love for the man she loved? One might choose her baby over her love, the other might let her baby go to save her lover. Kaname didn't know which was right, he could never understand a mother's feeling, because he wasn't a woman, he couldn't have the bliss of bearing his lover's children, and what he was feeling, what he was thinking might be wrong. That injury, if Zero didn't bear it, it would fall onto his child. Sara wouldn't kill the baby as she still wanted to keep Kaname in control, yet she would cause some damage to warn him. He wouldn't have interrupted their fight earlier if the cage which was constraining Yuuki hadn't started contracting to narrow her space. The baby had been conceived by his mother's scheme, and was growing day by day in difficulty and misery. There was only three months left and he would open his eyes to see this world. But his mother had given up on him, because it turned out her scheme was a severe mistake. Kaname didn't know which future was waiting for him, what Sara was planning, whether they could escape in time. He wished he could be able to free the baby, to give him to his father, where he would have a happy life with lots of love, care and protection. His desire to free the baby had grown progressively in the past four months, and eventually become much stronger than desire to be free himself. What he had been enduring, from the beginning was for survival and waiting for Zero, had turned into exchange for the baby's safety. Except for killing his husband, there was nothing that Kaname wouldn't do for him.

The nozzle was replaced with a plug to retain the water pumped in, a large volume which got him quite strained. His prostate was heatedly in pain.

_Zero_

_Could you forgive me?_

_After what we have been through, you will never betray this marriage to sleep with a woman for a child._

_I am not your only wife._

_But he will be your only child._

_If there is a chance, regardless of how fragile and how dangerous it is, or what price I have to pay, I will seize it to free him._

ZxK

The ceiling fan kept rotating lightly above the large bed where Zero was lying unconsciously with a bag of fresh blood being transfused into his vein. The lamp at his nightstand cast a gloomy light around his room, two shadows sitting still on the velvet couch, another was on the bed with him, worriedly holding his motionless hand. Similar scene had once happened half a year before, after he consumed the pureblood's heart. That night was more dangerous as greeting doves were hungrily managing to attack him, but that night they were waiting for his wakening.

Blood was an important part of vampires' nourishment. If absorbing through digestive system, all types were good, except that one might find a certain type was tastier than the others. However, as a human, a vampire needed compatible blood if it was given by a transfusion. Zero's was O type. He could only receive Kaname's and Shiki's blood, which was also O. This's already his second bag since returning from Shirabuki's residence, the half pureblood had been worn out, yet refused to get back to his own room for a rest. None of them wanted to separate from their husband at the moment. Tonight those greeting doves were not coming. Their enemy this time wasn't fragments of dead purebloods, but a very living one, getting healed effectively by the nourishing blood of the strongest pureblood line.

When she came, it would be the end of their family. If Zero was conscious, they might cling to him for a hope of survival. Each of them had instinctively thought about it, but soon determined that their husband getting fully recovered was the best chance for his own survival. They needed to flee away, they needed to give him proper time for his healing power to work out, even though such chance would cost their lives.

Slumber gave vampires a complete relaxation and thorough rest to refresh their systems, which was considered the greatest medicine for any mental issues or physical injuries. In their situation, it was the only and most effective method. Aido had stayed in his lab for hours, making a sleeping dose to make sure the hunter would fall into a slumber smoothly and his subconscious worries and tension wouldn't wake him up sooner than it took for his recovery. The more dangerous part was how to disappear safely and how to protect him after that. They agreed six months was enough, taking into account that Sara would be drinking from Kaname everyday. The longer his rest was, the stronger she became. Six months later, they were having another fight, where only one of them would walk out alive.

Aido returned to the room with a syringe ready in his hand. The three greeted him with silent trust and support. Shiki gave Zero a squeeze of encouragement before letting his hand go to stand up giving way for the other noble. Their husband was lying there, unmoving, yet he seemed to be struggling in his sleep. His delicate brows puckered, lips tightened, discolored complexion from blood loss still wasn't restored yet.

It triggered a piercing pain. They were carrying out a resolution without the hunter's consent, however, they couldn't see him keep falling down this path, they couldn't let him struggle until exhaustion eroded his strength completely and took his life at lengths.

"_He shouldn__'__t have caused such a serious wound.__"_

Takuma had censured Kaname when Aido was bandaging the injury. His words quietly echoed over and over in their minds. They didn't understand why the pureblood hadn't made it a bit lightly. Deep inside, they avoided thinking about a change of heart. What Kaname had sacrificed for Zero was beyond generosity, if he remained by his side, he would surely continue loving him, protecting him, dedicating to him. Yet they didn't forget how the hunter had treated him in return. Two of them were finally reconciled, but the time wasn't long enough to mend their broken relationship. They used to hope someone else would appear to take Kaname away from the hopeless, depressing depth where he restrained himself, to embrace him with joys and happiness. It's hard to imagine Sara was that person. Nevertheless, Kaname had disappeared for four months, he didn't show up when Zero desperately sought for him every night, or was pushed in the corner by two sides, and when they saw him again, he was protecting his new marriage, the one that Zero had refused to believe in.

Aido carefully pumped the full syringe in his husband's vein, pressed a piece of cotton wool on the tiny injection after taking his needle out. The blood bag was also finished, he removed the IV, affectionately put his arm under the blanket, and stroking his silver hair.

"I'll get the third bag for him." The half pureblood rapidly walked toward the door.

"It's enough, Shiki!" Aido immediately stopped him "He has fallen into a slumber. He won't need nutrition in the next six months, his system will work on its own course."

"Good, now we can settle our issue before he wakes up." Takuma said softly.

"What do you mean, Ichijou?" Aido turned around to gaze at him.

"It's time to terminate our plural marriage." The most powerful noble spoke calmly as those words had been considered carefully. "Anyone with a sober mind knows plural marriage will fail sooner or later. I used to want an exception, but it's too childish to think we would make an exception. You have seen it, Kaname isn't coming back. If you still have doubt of his falling in love with Sara, then try explaining why he turned down the chance to return to Zero and what motive pushed him to wound him like this. We have reached this point because Zero couldn't let Kaname go, and your presence only burdened him with more responsibilities and pressure. Before he regains consciousness, I want to clear things up for him, starting with this plural marriage."

"You have hidden many things from him, Ichijou! I remember your conversation with Zero haven't finished yet. You have no right to order us here." Kain protested sternly. His physique looked towering, which diffused an impression of superiority. His powers couldn't be compared with an Ichijou, however, he wasn't going to surrender to him just because of the difference of their physical strength.

"I'd rather die than divorce Zero." Shiki stated. The society acknowledged him as a half pureblood, on the other words, their leader's cousin. In fact, he was weaker than the councillors and their families. He had never been trained appropriately, and wasn't interested in practising martial arts or supernatural skills to improve his strength. His life had been smooth, thanks to the repute of his cousin and his husband.

And when both of them couldn't defend him in time…

"I'll grant your wish."

Takuma's cold-hearted words astonished all of them. His sword wasn't with him. He threw his empty hand at Shiki, and when they thought it was a harmless gesture, the half pureblood suddenly shattered into dust.

**-to be continued-**

_Posted on 22 March 2014_

_I'm writing a KxZ fic with Irmima, named "The King Father, The King, The King Consort and The Crown Prince", under the pen name "Irmina Gwen". Please take a look!_


	3. 19 One day you will look back

_**A/N**: Thank you a lot for your reviews. This chapter is my thanks to your kind support. As said in the previous update, I'm putting a flashback of ZK's moment as something Zero dreamed about when he was in his slumber. It's not sweet, but at least it's lighter than their current situation._

_Sorry that I'm killing off Zero's harem, and Takuma needs to be a bad guy for the plot to work out._

_As long as you read and review, I will keep writing…_

**Chapter 19: One day you will look back and realize you loved me**

_"Hey, Zero! Can you sleep out after your patrol? I wanna do that stuff with Mika tonight."_

_It took the fourteen year old trainee hunter a full minute of struggling to comprehend what his roommate was saying. He understood most of the sentence, something like Daiki wanted him not to return to their shared room because he had some plan with Mika tonight. Today was Friday, for Sun Dorm students, the week had been finished, they could get up as late as they wished or idle away the whole time in their bed tomorrow. He actually had a plan too, he wanted to sleep the day away to regain his sobriety before going to a movie with Kaname on Saturday night._

_Nevertheless, Daiki didn't give him a chance to oppose it._

_"I promised her already. I'll stay out next time when you need the room for yourself." His roommate winked._

_All of a sudden, his devious wink dawned to Zero's mind what "that stuff" meant. The teenaged hunter sighed. Both of them had been so distracted for the whole week because of that kind of stuff, but he couldn't believe his roommate would be daring enough to invite a girl. He was about to open his mouth to argue that he would never need their room for such a nasty purpose, but well, it wasn't like he was a saint…_

_Not bothering to shut the door, Zero sluggishly went downstairs, heading to the school for his prefect job. As strolling on the gravelly path, a shout behind turned his head around._

_"Heyyyyyyy Zeroooo!" Daiki leaned out the window, waving a hand to him "Thank youuuuu!"_

_ZxK_

_He yawned. It's miraculous that he could still feel sleepy among the crowd of screams and bustles. Maybe they weren't noisy enough, or he was too tired that their daily commotion couldn't affect him anymore. Silly girls and guys, what was so good in the Night Class students to make them waste their time every day gathering here? The Moon Dorm's gate had been opened, those good-looking ones were walking to their classes._

_"Idol! Idol! Idol!"_

_"Idol sempai!"_

_"Wild sempai!"_

_"Shutttttttttttttttttt upppppppppppppppp!" His yell was even louder to get their attention "Steppppppp backkkkkk!"_

_This job was really not for human. Who could shout their lungs out and run around every night and survive? Ridiculously, he had broken three desks in the headmaster's room, yet his foster father still thought it was the best way to handle this situation. _

_"You're meanie, Zero-kun! Idol sempai said he likes me, he wanna meet me too."_

_"Don't be so naïve! All of them like meee!" He wasn't quite sure why bothered to argue with them. All were annoying, both humans and vampires._

_Except the silky brown haired, beautiful claret eyed pureblood. His white uniform made him even more elegant and charming. He didn't respond to those crazy people as if they didn't exist in his eyes. They had no idea of the difference between him and the rest of the Night Class students, yet their admiration to him was instinctively not hysterical as how they sprang at the others. Many girls quietly looked at him from a distance and fainted._

_So hopeless! But for this particular guy, Zero didn't lie to them. Many times had Kaname told him he liked him._

_"You look pale. Are you alright, Zero?"_

_A sweet as honey voice pouring into his ear denoted that they were being very close. He could feel the other's breath on his earlobe, and those tapering fingers gently squeezing his shoulder. Their hair brushing, and no gap between their chests. He felt something hard against him. Squared and solid. The book with a thick cover which Kaname was holding in his hand._

_Zero hastily pulled out. The pureblood seemed disappointed, yet gleamed a tender smile. Those juicy lips, Zero thought they had just accidentally swept over his skin when he disengaged from him. That feeling couldn't be mistaken, because it's usually special each time Kaname gave him a peck on his cheek._

_Wasn't it normal between friends? Didn't boys stick to boys and girls to girls since kindergarten time? There was a fact that a normal guy would want to tie his life with a girl when he grew up, but fourteen year old wasn't an adult yet, Zero had discreetly observed his classmates, his teachers, his foster father, and his mentor. Each male had other males as close friends, they laughed with each other, they drank with each other, they had physical contacts, however, the pureblood's touching seemed to convey a great affection to him._

_"Can I stay in your room tonight?" _***You know, when you're in class.*_ Zero had been there a few times, just dropped in to give Kaname something or get something. They were friends, close enough for those vampires not getting surprised seeing him around. But he had never really stayed in his room. Another option was to share the stable with White Lily. Of course the horse wouldn't mind, but it was pretty uncomfortable in this season._

_Something like bewitchment submerged the pureblood's eyes. He was stunned with such unexpected suggestion, obviously took the question in a higher intimate level. It couldn't be true, could it? He had intentionally created opportunities to be close to Zero, to touch him, to feel his warmth, but each time he usually made it very subtle and tactful so that the hunter wouldn't realize his intention. He worried Zero would think he was weird, at the same time he yearned for his touching, to be claimed by him, to belong to him completely._

_How could it be possible that Zero wanted to sleep with him tonight? Zero wanted to… make love to him now?_

_"If inconvenient, forget it!" The hunter turned around to resume his job._

_"Please come." Kaname seized his wrist, the invitation was spoken out in a hurry that he almost bit his own tongue._

_Another contact. Zero gazed at his grasped wrist, he didn't hate it because he could feel his friend's passion in that ardent grip. Kaname was probably afraid he got displeased at his slow response. "Thank you."_

_"I'll be back soon." The pureblood smiled seductively._

***You don't have to skip class for me.* _Zero wanted to say, but somehow he just let his friend enjoy whatever idea running in his mind which was strangely blushing his cheeks._

ZxK

_"You are doing great,__Yuuki__. Now push… try once more… push…"_

_"I… can't… Help me… help…"_

The girl had become more exhausted and desperate after a lot of screams, cries and whimpers. Many times she wished she could pass out, and whatever was meant to happen would happen, but the pain just didn't grant her humble wish. People said labor pain was the worst pain a woman could ever experience, otherwise, it wouldn't have been called labor. No matter how many books you had read or how far you had prepared, it didn't lessen a bit of your suffering. Never had Yuuki regretted for her mistake more than these everlasting moments. Many children were born everyday, many mothers proudly took their kids out with glee lit in their faces. She had once wished to be one of them. But in this unbearable pain, she even couldn't blame the man who had caused it to her. She didn't dare to curse him, she didn't dare to call his name. Several people were surrounding her, yet she was alone, suffering a deep, thorough loneliness that she had never felt before.

From the other side, Sara leisurely took a sip of her high-grade tea while Kaname was standing very still, facing the closed door of the delivery room, his hands unconsciously clenched in fists, waves of disquiet overflew his mind. Yuuki had been in for hours, he also stood there for hours. He would want to stay by her side, but she wouldn't appreciate it. When they talked about that, her contractions hadn't started yet. Since labor pain was different from woman to woman, they couldn't imagine how bad it would be to her. Normally, women just wanted their men or their loved ones beside them in that moment. The closest relationship between Kaname and Yuuki, if they managed to polish it, was ex-schoolmates, or blunt as it actually was, they were love rivals. She was carrying the child of the man who Kaname worshipped as the love of his life. He had asked if she wanted him to be in the room, because in this place, at least they shared the same hope. Nevertheless, she decided not to show him how indecent and hysterical she might turn into. They finally couldn't get closer to become friends.

In the last three months, she had been taken care of and provided proper nutrition as a pregnant woman should have. In return, Kaname transmitted his hereditary kung-fu of the Kurans to Sara. Fair or not, it didn't matter. Sara could have demanded him to surrender it without giving anything back. They had gotten married, he had abdicated his position of vampire leader to her. The two societies went totally shocked, yet Zero and his wives was nowhere to see. In fact, his disappearance made Kaname feel relieved, because Zero must need time to get recovered after their outrageous encounter. As long as they had no news of him, he had a reason to imagine the hunter was undergoing good treatments and everything was getting better.

He had never given up his hope on him. Seven months of separation had taught Kaname to get calmer, more patient and hopeful. Had his _ex_-husband not planned to confront Sara, he would have managed to negotiate with her to keep his own position and safety, instead of fleeing away as affirmation of his adverse stance. Even with an abrupt, unreasonable stab, Kaname didn't believe their faith would be broken that easily.

_"__Too painful. I can't… I don't want to die… Pull it out... please… pull it out…"_

His hand grabbed the door handle with fright. Her words had turned too negative, she started thinking about getting rid of the child, which scared him. Even inappropriate, he wanted to break in now, to encourage her with his support, and promises of the future, which he would make sure that they would come true. But the door didn't move a bit. It had been locked.

"Calm down, Kaname! It'll be alright. All women can do it." Sara grunted. "They won't grant her stupid request."

"Give her an epidural." The pureblood pleaded softly.

It would release her from labor pain. Many human women chose it for their childbirths. He had requested it for Yuuki as soon as figuring out from the pregnancy books, however, Sara insisted that everything should go naturally on its own course. For some reason, the shemale pureblood seemed to be highly interested in this case. In a certain period of life, she was supposed to impregnate herself and give birth to an heir. But it could be thousands of years later, if only for collecting experience, she wouldn't be sitting right here, waiting for the birth.

"Sara-san, please breed me." Rima sweetly purred. "I'll be happy to bear the pain to deliver your baby."

"You are a bad girl." The shemale chuckled "Did her cries turn you on?"

As Yuuki was struggling in labor, there were also moans and pants on the other side. She was trying to push out, and the other greedily took in. One was inspiration of the other. Yuuki couldn't hear it, because she was too deep in pain, the pain that Rima couldn't imagine unless she had a chance to experience it herself. Doctors and nurses around Yuuki were sweating profusely. Kaname's request had dropped in complete neglect, yet he hesitated to repeat it and stirred Sara's nerves up. Her pants were getting rushed with pleasure beside him. If was interrupted, she might order to tear Yuuki's belly out to take the child. It might sound too exaggerating, but their situation wouldn't give them another chance if he committed a mistake. Sara was very sadistic, it had been proven in the way she treated her harem and much clearer, in her methods to him and Yuuki. She put the girl in a cage, limited her activities within a small space as if Yuuki was a kind of pet. She used cruel, insulting words to humiliate Kaname, before, during and after each of their sex, she imposed strict requirements to remind him that he was no more than a worthless slave, whom she could do whatever and however she feel pleased to.

He had been thinking hard on the reason why Sara paid an unusual attention to this birth. Because of her unfathomable motive, he had the urge to be more careful. Somehow, his mind was bothered with a terrible idea that she was aiming at the child, and wouldn't care about the mother if things went wrong. To be straightforward, Yuuki shouldn't be his favorite person, however, she had been carrying his love's child, suffering anguishes and difficulties, and now enduring the worst pain to deliver the child. All those had earned his extreme gratitude. The last thing he wanted was her life to be taken by his wrong words.

_"Oowhaaaa… oowhaaaaaa… oowhaaaaa…"_

A strong wail from the delivery room pulled Sara out of her pleasure. Rima greedily held her back to finish what they were doing, but she pushed her down, coldly and strongly enough for the girl to land roughly on the floor. Door was unlocked from the other side, a nurse carrying a crying infant ran toward her master.

"Sara-sama, this is the baby boy."

"Give him to me." Kaname murmured, even before she finished her sentence, before Sara laid her eyes on the beautiful newborn, who was being wrapped in a light blue towel, very little hair and thin brows in silver color. His eyes were bright as amethyst gems, typically alike his own father's. It felt like heaven seeing a baby with similar features of the love of his life, though Kaname had been preparing, waiting and dreaming for months, this joy was just too overwhelming to cope with. He didn't realize his own eyes already in tears. Little Kiryuu bawled with alarm seeing so many strangers around, but he halted in a jiff when their looks crossed each other.

"What a cute boy!" Sara commented, holding her arms out to receive him. She was pretty gentle, but the infant immediately resumed crying as though sensing a danger was coming. Lifting him closer to her face, she protruded her pointed fangs, and took a deep bite in his soft, young flesh.

The boy squealed in panic.

"Stop! You can drink from me!" Kaname yelled, but he was unexpectedly knocked down as attempting to grip her arm. An invisible shield was protecting her and preventing any interruption. He was astounded to realize it wasn't an ordinary bite. Sara was taking the boy's healing gift to neutralize her poison. But how could she know he had this gift?

In the last three months Sara had stopped having sex with him. She drank his blood to cure her injuries, but not in a direct way. Everyday a servant would come to extract a glass of blood from him. This change hinted that she was suspecting something, however, he wasn't forced into any interrogation, Rima didn't disappear either, which confused him what her suspicion possibly was. Nevertheless, he worried that the day the child being born would end these blind days, something was going to happen, worse than all they had endured. Although his health still couldn't be recovered due to continuous blood loss and the implicit poison, he was given more food and rest, he was allowed to walk around and read the pregnancy books with Yuuki, the servants also paid him more regards than before.

All those were for today. Sara handed the unconscious baby back to the nurse, leisurely wiped off her bloody lips "Are you wondering why I knew he had a healing power? He was completely human, while his father was already an ex-human at the time he was conceived." She smirked triumphantly "An ability to restore its original genes, but even more powerful than a pureblood's one, because it was purely a gift from the hunter lineage. Your best friend's calculation has gone wrong! He didn't know you would fail to cover your deepest thoughts when you're poisoned. I drank from you everyday, I could sense your emotions, your worries, your faith, and on the day Zero came here, I found your suppressed thoughts!"

"That the next generation of the Kiryuus would inherit a great healing power and…" Sara reached out to strangle Rima's neck, who had stood up and put her clothes back on. "…that you had taken the poison this silly girl gave to kill me."

"Sa… Sa…" The girl gripped her lover's wrist with both hands, stuttering to beg for life but no words was completed from smothering throat "For… for…give…"

Her mouth opened, eyes widened. The clutches loosed as her lungs ran out of air. Blood leaked down from flared nostrils.

She died.

Sara didn't bother to turn around for one last look. She simply took her hand back, letting the lifeless body fall down. The servants frightfully held their breaths still, but there was no surprise, even the one who got killed today was their master's favorite lover. Nevertheless, her coldest act wasn't to let go of the person who she had just made love to, it was to keep making love to her for months while knowing she was going to kill her.

Attention focused on the so-called wife, who had teamed up with Rima in this betrayal. For someone who would kill for no reason, nobody had ever betrayed her and survived.

"What do you want from me?" Out of expectations, Kaname asked calmly. He was panicked that Sara had figured out everything, for an instant, he thought it was going to be their dead end. He had nothing else to offer. His position, his strength, his hereditary kung-fu had been taken. What left was his breaths and his body, but they were totally useless to her. However, if he had really turned useless, she wouldn't keep him alive till now. In fact, she even went further to improve his condition and more or less revive his reputation.

"With that sharp mind, you should have made an ideal partner." Sara simpered. "We will have a new deal, Kaname. Firstly, I will detoxify your poison too. I will give you some time to be with your beloved child and think about what we should arrange for his future."

ZxK

_The bed was so large that Zero could swim on, soft and cozy with a very tempting aroma, Kaname's natural scent. It should be expected, he was in his very chamber, lying on his very bed. The blanket seemed to be holding his lingering warmth, Zero greedily pulled it over his head, indulging himself in an intense sensation. It was so pleasant. Stupid Daiki, who needed to take turn to invite girls to their shared room? To think about it, no girls' names popped up in his mind. He had gotten excited hearing about the porn dvd's which Daiki's brother handed to him last weekend. They had eagerly watched them together throughout the week whenever they could manage some free time. Those naked bodies, those graphic images, those sensual positions, those lustful moans, what they did on the screen carved deeply in their minds. Daiki said he got a wicked desire of undressing each and every girl he met and had sex with them. He wanted to know how it felt like being inside a hot body and squeezing lewd sound out of delicate lips._

_It's a masculine thing. Zero felt crammed. Sex became more curious around his age. The other day Kaname had taught him how to do a proper handjob. It's embarrassing, yet he found himself listen to him thoroughly, and even let him touch _his_. Just a touch, and just from the outside, but it kind of… He started giving a better thought of their so-called friendship. Kaname seemed to know a lot. He assumed the pureblood had taken time to figure himself out, but after watching those videos, he wondered if his experience had been collected from a more direct way._

_All vampires were attracted to purebloods. In this Academy, there was only one pureblood, and a lot of willing girls. In this very bed, his friend had possibly messed up with countless girls. Zero kicked the blanket out. Such idea was extremely disturbing. He didn't have a girlfriend, so Kaname shouldn't have one. But Kaname wanted sex, otherwise, he wouldn't have known a lot about it. There was a period each year when vampires over sixteen got in heat. It's called mating season. Kaname would be sixteen next year._

_He would want girls._

_Damn it!_

_Lustful vampire, he would shoot him!_

_Now it was insufferably disturbing. Zero sat up, carefully using his sharp nose to seek any strange smell in the room. Pureblood scent soaked the air, besides that, there was a faint perfume hint, and his own odor started mixing up. It inexplicably cooled him down. If someone came to this room, they would find out that he had been here before._

_He had been here._

_It felt so right._

_If only he could hang a banner across this room saying the pureblood was unavailable._

_Zero knew his thinking was ridiculous, but why a guy must get a girl when they grew up?_

_What could he do to stop Kaname when his racial heat hit him?_

_The door was gently pulled in and his friend appeared with a guilty yet shy smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't leave before the break. It was Yagari-sensei's session."_

_If it was a vampire teacher, he would have left already. However, Yagari was a senior hunter, Kaname wanted to show his full support to the co-existence plan, where vampires and humans could live together, interacted with each other in peace. As a matter of fact, he couldn't focus on the lesson at all, he's afraid Zero would become impatient and leave. To think about the young hunter staying in his room, he couldn't help feeling hotter and hotter. He was still wearing the white uniform, fully buttoned up, with a tie pin and a collar pin with moon symbol pendants._

_Zero was amazed that Kaname had never forgotten any accessories on his uniform and always worn them properly and formally. He couldn't do that, yet he adored the pureblood's tidiness. Suddenly curiosity flooded over him, what did Kaname look like when sleeping? Or when…_

_"You look distracted. Are you feeling uneasy?" The pureblood had joined him on the bed, affectionately placed a hand on his forehead._

_Zero didn't avoid him this time. It would be more awkward if he reacted too much over those trifles. Kaname had always been that way, it's just he hadn't been highly aware of his behavior before. "Daiki invited his girlfriend to come over, so I have to stay out." He explained, hopefully the reason was normal and understandable enough, and Kaname wouldn't think he was harboring some weird idea as proposed sleeping over in his room._

_"Ah." The pureblood uttered, suddenly stood up, making a few steps backward as if trying to create a decent space for them and hiding his immature disappointment that Zero hadn't come here to stay with him on purpose._

_"Do you invite girls over too?" However, his reaction made the hunter wonder whether he did the same thing as Daiki's._

_"Do you?" At the same time, such impassive question worried Kaname that Zero was used to this kind of thing. He loved him, yet hadn't confessed his feeling directly and seriously to him. The boy was only fourteen and his human origin made him grow up more slowly than vampires. Kaname hadn't wanted to hurry and scare him away. He was waiting with patience until Zero grew up. But did his slow advances give way to someone else?_

_"I'm asking you." Zero wanted to yell that he wasn't sleeping around for fun. Well, he couldn't foresee his future, but right in this moment, he didn't want to admit that he wasn't interested in any girl._

_"No." Kaname murmured "You is enough."_

_His words couldn't convince the teenaged hunter though._

_"Would you still say it next year when you are in heat? Wouldn't you be indulging your instinct with girls?"_

_"Is there any chance…" Kaname got closer to Zero again "…you are feeling jealous?"_

_Their eyes fixed each other. Last time he had shown him how to satisfy his sexual need with his own hand. He wanted Zero to think about him when desires arose, to link them together, to come to him for satisfaction. It was indecent, but he didn't have a virtuous method to win the hunter's heart. Zero was pure and upright, there were many more demure, adequate girls for him out there. He probably shouldn't wait longer, he should take their current closeness to tie them together._

***Please choose me! I will devote my life to compensate for the opportunities you should have achieved without me.*

_"If you do, then claim me, make me yours, mark me as your possession."_

_The hunter was dazed at his friend's strange request. Kaname wasn't saying he would dominate in their relationship, he even didn't ask for equality. On the contrary, he's offering his full submission. Wait, Zero startled, what the heck was going on here? He was being approached by a man, and he was… considering it? Both of them were male. What kind of relationship could two men enter into? Wasn't it a wicked joke?_

_"Sorry, I'm not a girl." Zero said curtly._

_"That impudent thought has never crossed my mind." Kaname was at the edge of his bed, this time he didn't sit down with him, but knelt on the floor, grabbing the hunter's hand to press on his smooth cheek. "You will surpass me in the future, you will become the strongest man in this world, you will be the foremost legendary hunter."_

_"Are you pledging allegiance to me?" Zero said sarcastically. One could always try their best to obtain better achievements. However, natural strength related to origin. His conversional situation reduced his chance to reach the supreme level which a hunter could attain. It looked like Kaname promised him his pure blood to reinforce his altered strength. "Then what do you want from me? To be your master? Sworn brother? Or loyal friend?" Cynicism was too sour in his voice, yet couldn't cover the unaccountable frustration which was increasing in his heart. "How else can a man claim another man?"_

_"Just as Daiki is doing to his girl." Kaname stated clearly. _***Please don't look elsewhere. I'm right here waiting for you.* _He wouldn't push if Zero wasn't ready, but that desire, that pleasure, that type of relationship, he wanted the hunter to know he could anytime take it from him. "I can show you how."_

ZxK

His eyelids waveringly fluttered between dream and reality, sweet memories in their past and difficulties in the present, beautiful images which had carved in his heart and challenges waiting for him in the future. Sometimes one just wanted to be drunk forever, to never wake up from their long sleep, so that the beautiful dream would never disappear. Faint light in the room helped his eyes easily adapt to the surrounding. After some indecisive blinks, he finally registered it was the vacation home of the Ichijous in Nice, on the south east coast of France, where Takuma had wanted them to spend a few days together during their trip with the Association years ago. It was a beautiful place, however, to wake up with nobody in sight and find himself being in Europe at the moment startled him. Experience of the memory loss alerted that he might have missed some important parts of his life, forgotten some important issues or lost some important people.

_Kaname_

Unconsciously chanted his beloved's name to make sure the best meaning of his life was still memorized, with that, he was calmed down. The last thing remained in his mind was being stabbed by him, his love, and with an estrange, expressionless look, Kaname told him he was ready to hurt him again. His fingers hesitantly touched on his chest where the wound had been. No hint of pain, even though he was pressing pretty hard, as if that place had never got injured. Adding to his astonishment, his whole body was feeling perfectly well, senses were sharp, arms and legs were in fine fettle, strength had never been that affluent. There was no sign of the exhaustion which he was suffering, as though he had been through a long sleep, long enough for all pain and sorrows to be desolved.

Sliding the glass door open, he started hearing the rustling of soft waves peacefully slapping the sandy shore. Their bedroom looked out the charming beach, night breeze mischievously blew a few locks of blond hair of the man facing his back to him.

And that's when reality confirmed to Zero it wasn't heaven.

Takuma turned around, a thrill flashed on his face as he ended his on-going phone call. "I'll call you back later."

His hand fondly caressed the hunter's cheek, voice also turned much softer with love. "You've finally waken up."

"Why are we here?" For one moment, Zero was quite familiar with their closeness and didn't react to the noble's touch. But in the next instant, he recalled their unresolved problem before he headed to Sara's mansion. Had Takuma been an enemy, that dawdling titbit of time would have been more than enough to take his life. Indeed, one just couldn't hold sharp caution toward his own family members, because home was the place where one removed all his heavy masks to expose his true color, to relax his nerves, to regain his energy, where he felt totally safe to rest and comfortable to express his feelings.

"We are taking refuge from Shirabuki."

"Where are the others?"

"Are you hungry? Would you like my blood?" Takuma gave him one of his smiles which were usually warm and soothing.

Zero sighed. He could never repay enough to such kindness. If the person he saw after waking up had been Kaname, then his sweet dream would have continued alongside the beautiful beach. Before stepping out, he had stayed still on the bed for a while, indulging himself in an imagination that it was another period of his life, when they were happily together, no problems, no worries, no dangers. All of them were in their sweet home, enjoying a dinner with lots of laughter together.

Too foolish.

Dreams wouldn't last forever.

"Where are the others?" His voice got stern. Their absence somehow was giving him a very bad feeling.

"They are dead..." Takuma knew his fateful words would drown the hunter in an ocean of grief, where he had been trying to pull him out. Yet there would be no suitable time for such news, he couldn't hide it from him forever, what he could do was to stay by his side in this difficult phase. As a wife, Takuma had done all the other wives would, even what the others couldn't. "…in Kaname's hands."

"It's not true." Zero denied immediately, not wasting a single second to consider it. And Takuma understood it was because of Kaname. No matter how impossible or incredible the news was, he should have taken a moment to contemplate its likelihood. However, if considering it meant suspecting Kaname, Zero would resolutely negate it.

Takuma curved his lips as a habit. Most of the time, his first reaction was to make a smile. He often smiled with the others, let them feel easy and comfortable with his presence, let them more opened and confident to speak to him. Who said a bad guy didn't get hurt? "It's not easy to believe. They didn't believe he came to kill them till their very last minutes."

"Why did Kaname want to do it?" Zero couldn't think of a possible motive for the pureblood to kill them. He didn't expect Sara to let Kaname go out at all. Indeed, he had turned things upside down to search for him with no luck in four months, while both of them were actually still in the same prefecture.

"He changed. Upon returning home, we decided to get you in a slumber for full recovery, thinking Shirabuki also needed some time to heal herself, so it should be safe in about six months. Unexpectedly, while Shirabuki was still getting healed, I heard Kaname was coming to kill us, I brought you away, but Aido, Kain and Shiki didn't believe me." Takuma had lied before, yet this lie had even gone beyond his imagination. He and Kaname had grown up together, had been best friends. They were like brothers, he was the very first person who the pureblood confided his love to. Had they not loved the same man, he would have been the most loyal, most dedicated friend to Kaname all his life. Yes, _he_ changed. "You asked why I didn't tell you he was with Shirabuki. If he had been forced, I would have told you right away. But it's said he was living happily with her at his free will. I needed more time to verify it, and to think how to inform you such news. Just like them, I couldn't absorb the fact as soon as I got it, but luckier than them, I had a few months to digest it. When I was affirmed he had really betrayed you, I made a decision on my own, I ordered to prepare a poison to kill both of them. We needed hunter and pureblood mixed blood in the ingredients, because we wanted all symptoms of the poisoning to be hidden. Your hunter essence was reduced since you became a pureblood, that's why I had to add something in your blood tablets. I think the symptoms were discovered when Shirabuki got injured, and Kaname attacked us out of anger at my deed. Zero, it was my fault for keeping all these behind your back, but as your second wife, I can't discuss with you straightforwardly about how to deal with your first wife, your first love."

It's not that Zero didn't see reasons in the noble's statement, he understood what Takuma was trying to convince him, and those words, which entirely and coherently made senses, were smashing his heart to smithers. Because a wedding was just a ceremony, three months of living together after the wedding wasn't really different than three months of living together right before that. Many married couples had lived happily all their lives without a wedding. Being husband and wife was a feeling deep in each other's hearts, forming from a chain of ups and downs which the couple equally shared and shouldered in the course of life, that the event of a wedding wasn't a decisive factor.

Kaname was his true love, the most important person in his life, the one who he had grown up with and fallen for. He would want to save his highest, deepest, dearest, most significant position in his heart for him, however, to cast off all those formalities to expose its real nature, Kaname was a lover more than a wife. They hadn't had a chance to live their marriage, Zero had made up his mind to see him go just a few months after their wedding.

While with Takuma, even though what tied him to the noble wasn't love, he gradually got used to relying on him for dealing with their daily issues. What design their home extension should be, what birthday gift to prepare for his foster father, how to persuade two sides to agree with their suggestions, how to arrange a good reception for their memorial day. He relied on Takuma as a husband on his wife. He always had him by his side, he had his support, he had his ideas. Even in the fight to bring Kaname back, he had been relying on him. So if you asked whether he should accept the story Takuma was telling, he could only say that... he was unable to reject it thoroughly.

"_If we were separated again, no matter what happened to you or no matter what you heard about me, ignore them all, try to return to me! If you couldn't, do whatever you have to in order to survive."_

Even in his worst nightmare, Zero didn't think his pureblood would kill the nobles. Kaname respected lives, respected their friendships. Hadn't they already ruthlessly betrayed him by getting married to his husband? Yet he tolerated it again and again, without a word. The only circumstance which Zero could imagine that led to the pureblood's killing mood was they became prejudicial to him, the person Kaname loved fervently.

Nevertheless, regardless of how impossible it was, Kaname had stabbed him on that day. His eyes were expressionless, yet that act was thoroughly accurate and determined. The sword went through him to create another opened wound on his back, but his heart remained very intact. In such a short distance, Kaname couldn't aim imprecisely. If Zero hadn't had enough time to think carefully in that moment, he realized now the pureblood didn't mean to harm him.

Was it his silent hope or he just considering all possibilities when thinking Kaname might be following their promise which he had forced him in? He had done whatever Sara wanted him to for survival, including murdering all his close friends, and injuring his beloved man. It was atypical to describe Kaname, though purebloods usually expected to be cruel and uncaring. Perhaps Zero was used to thinking about his pureblood with a warm heart, as how he had treated him particularly and assumed he would treat everyone else in the same nice way.

"How about Minori and Seiren?" But if Kaname had really killed them, so what? The nobles would forever stay in his heart, yet he couldn't promise to take vengeance for them. Either Kaname or Takuma, he couldn't kill any of them, no matter what they did.

"Gone." Now it was the truth. Those two had sneaked off when the nobles were fighting, and vanished in the sea of people. Being insignificant turned out to be their advantage, none of the secret agents crossed them on their ways, nobody knew about their whereabouts. "They left on that same day. Since we moved here, I don't keep in touch with anyone, because Shirabuki might reach us through our contacts. I heard our home was untouched, but the servants must have been brainwashed. Now it's only Kaname and me, who know what really happened three months ago. I understand that whoever talks badly about Kaname will lose favour in your eyes. But I still have other news for you, evidential and undeniable." Takuma flipped through his cell phone to look for an image. "Kaname has had a son with Shirabuki. Although they had him from a surrogacy arrangement, it's the very first time a Shirabuki bred with another person and had a child with a specific gender. Their son is named Kazuki Shirabuki. Kazu for _one_, and ki for _hope_. Look, he inherits his dark hair."

Takuma showed Zero an image on his phone's large screen. The hunter didn't reach out to touch it, but glued his eyes at the screen in daze. In that image, his beloved pureblood was sitting on a rocking chair, his arms holding a little cute infant, and he was smiling peacefully. Zero was dumbfounded at such a stunning scene. Since the first time they met, that beautiful smile had always mesmerized him. Each time Kaname smiled, especially for him or because of him, he got an absolute delight and contentment. But this particular time roused an indescribable feeling in his utmost, something he had never brought himself to think about, something he unconsciously avoided, something wasn't supposed to happen. At a point, it was severely worse than seeing Kaname with another person. Catching him in bed could fly Zero into a rage, because he had all rights of a husband for it, but facing this scene, he felt like himself becoming a hindrance who should be shameful of his own presence. Their romance, though coming from deep and sincere feelings, was against nature. A man normally would want to enjoy a happy family life with the woman he loved and their lovely children. Fourteen years old, Zero had given up on that dream to be with Kaname, just as Aido and the other wives had done for marrying him. However, Kaname was fond of children. Many years ago, Zero used to think about adopting one or two kids after they settled down.

Unfortunately, their life took another path which led them to a circumstance that was no longer practical for them to adopt children.

Kazuki – He wondered how much time Kaname had spent to find such a perfect name. The Shirabukis only chose unisex names, Sara had renamed herself since she wanted a completely feminine impression. It's unlikely that she had chosen this name for the boy, as Kazuki was absolutely masculine, and the sound of it could be easily recognized that it's related to his father's name.

Zero realized he still hadn't touched the screen, as if a part of him was still stubbornly struggling to deny this fabulous scene, one which he's unable to give Kaname. He could live with him for an eternity, he could hunt high and low for the needed hearts, could go heaven and earth to seek for his trace. He was ready to die for him, but what could he practically offer him? Kaname was the lover who Zero had used all his senses, all his feelings to love. However, they were no longer in a one-on-one romance. If they were reconciled, what he could present to him was a floor out of fives, a cozy night together followed by four lonely ones, a fifth of his heart, a fifth of his life, though this one piece was conceivably larger than the rest.

Now it came to sense why Kaname had declined to leave with him on that day. He could deny what Takuma said, could ignore what the pureblood had done, could find as many reasons as needed to defend him, however, this fascinating smile, which had been long gone since their painful separation, shattered his motivation. Kaname had lived in deep sorrow for the last five years, and eventually decided to end his life. But a change which was supposed to be a misfortune, turned out to bring him his longing happiness. In that moment, when this image was taken, Zero was sure what the pureblood was feeling was a pure, inestimable bliss. How could he get it if Sara was really constraining him as they thought?

Somewhere on the way getting back to each other, they got lost.

"It's time to return. I need to finish this matter."

_- to be continued -_

_Posted on 16 April 2014_


End file.
